Why I Said Yes
Today weekend Francis and I celebrated three years since he asked me to marry him.
We made it special with an afternoon in our favourite seaside hippy town,
shopping and the best local gourmet ice cream.
"Will you marry me?"
It's supposed to an easy question to answer, and it was. After a year and a half I'd known for a while I would marry this boy. (In fact I'd known two weeks after meeting him. I'll tell our love story some time, it's a good one).
Today I was pondering why I said yes.
It wasn't because I thought he was the perfect man, or that we were perfect for each other.
We fought far too often, and too harshly.
We had personality traits and preferences that clashed.
Both personally and as a couple, we had major issues that we knew would affect our marriage.
We were young, 19 and 20, not in the least established in life.
But I said yes because I chose to love Francis no matter what. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, and I decided to make our marriage work.
We could help each other become better.
We would have to learn to navigate conflict with less hurt and more charity.
There's no man in this world I would rather clash with. Learning to compromise and let go of certain things would not be easy but it would be sanctifying.
Early on in our relationship we had talked through all the big red flags. We had discerned, in prayer, they weren't deal breakers. With grace and grit, we could work through those things too.
Young and broke perhaps wasn't the easiest way to start life together, but neither was it easy to be young and broke alone; we decided we'd rather take on the adventure of figuring out grown-up life together.
And hey, we were great together. We had common dreams for our future, we "got" each other, we could talk about our deepest thoughts or be completely silly. We looked amazing on the dance floor. He brought me out of my shell and I kept him grounded. We desired to raise beautiful children and help each other grow closer to God.
Francis was a man I loved, and who loved me. He cherished me, respected me, protected me. He was a good one. Since meeting him, even in times where it would have been easier to just walk away, I was compelled by the unyielding sense that God intended us together. I was lucky enough to be in love with him too.
So I said yes.
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| Our engagement, May 2014. |
We made it special with an afternoon in our favourite seaside hippy town,
shopping and the best local gourmet ice cream.
 |
| Francis' shopping face. Actually he was a fantastic sport and let me try on dresses for him, with all the appropriate commentary on colour and style and "oh you look so beautiful!" |
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| I love this place because last year they gave us a free tub of ice cream as a gift when Edwin was born, isn't that sweet? |
"Will you marry me?"
It's supposed to an easy question to answer, and it was. After a year and a half I'd known for a while I would marry this boy. (In fact I'd known two weeks after meeting him. I'll tell our love story some time, it's a good one).
Today I was pondering why I said yes.
It wasn't because I thought he was the perfect man, or that we were perfect for each other.
We fought far too often, and too harshly.
We had personality traits and preferences that clashed.
Both personally and as a couple, we had major issues that we knew would affect our marriage.
We were young, 19 and 20, not in the least established in life.
But I said yes because I chose to love Francis no matter what. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, and I decided to make our marriage work.
We could help each other become better.
We would have to learn to navigate conflict with less hurt and more charity.
There's no man in this world I would rather clash with. Learning to compromise and let go of certain things would not be easy but it would be sanctifying.
Early on in our relationship we had talked through all the big red flags. We had discerned, in prayer, they weren't deal breakers. With grace and grit, we could work through those things too.
Young and broke perhaps wasn't the easiest way to start life together, but neither was it easy to be young and broke alone; we decided we'd rather take on the adventure of figuring out grown-up life together.
And hey, we were great together. We had common dreams for our future, we "got" each other, we could talk about our deepest thoughts or be completely silly. We looked amazing on the dance floor. He brought me out of my shell and I kept him grounded. We desired to raise beautiful children and help each other grow closer to God.
Francis was a man I loved, and who loved me. He cherished me, respected me, protected me. He was a good one. Since meeting him, even in times where it would have been easier to just walk away, I was compelled by the unyielding sense that God intended us together. I was lucky enough to be in love with him too.
I'm in love with your blog!
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